"Melancholia" Side A

"Melancholia" is a collection of songs I wrote and recorded between December 7-14, 1988. I  always thought of it as a proper "album" although the recording quality was far from being good enough to actually consider releasing. For that matter the performances aren't all that great. Many of the songs sound alike, as I was just then learning how to manipulate the D chord a little bit. It was recorded on a flimsy little cassette recorder in the shed my father built in our back yard when we first moved into the house. The last couple of years had found me committed, albeit voluntarily, in a mental hospital, staying in an assisted living facility and playing in one of the best bands I've ever been a part of over the summer. I'm not real sure where my head was at when I wrote this music. I had written a couple of songs that were good enough to use in the band and it's likely I hoped to pitch some of these to them, having left a few months before. The material was fresh when I recorded it, if memory serves. 

I've always been happy with "Melancholia" for what it is/was. I decided to publish the song lyrics here because even though there are some real clunkers in the mix, there are also some decent lines, maybe even a whole song or two (at most). Plus they kind of give a bit of insight into where my mind was at back then. Not a very happy picture, overall. Oh, well. Welcome to my world. Actually that's not fair, because a lot of the sentiment in "Melancholia" is juvenile, pretentious and posturing. That's what I had going for me in the late 80s.

"CIRCLES"  

This is the last time, nowhere left to turn

So let's walk to the south side and watch the crosses burn

I'm left with no feeling or reason to go on

I can see your face in fire and I know what went wrong

I'm running around in circles...'round and 'round we go

You ask me where I'm going to but I don't even know

I'm just runnin' around, not getting anywhere

Running around in circles

I tried to tell you but you wouldn't hear me out

Sometimes to get to you you know I think I have to shout

(Hey! Hey!)

You say this attitude is getting in the way 

You can blame my attitude when I'm lying in the grave

(Hey!)

Running around in circles...'round and 'round we go

You ask me where you're going to but I don't know

You're just runnin' around in circles, you're not getting anywhere

Running around in circles

I think I have to shout

I think I'll have to shout

I think I'll have to shout

Shout

"CONSISTENCY"

There are things I still don't understand

Happy couples walking hand in hand

Diderot's "Rameau's Nephew" "D'Alambert's Dream"

I read it a hundred times and still don't see

As it was before it soon believes

What I'd give for some consistency

And the lights go out

And the lies come down

And I still can make no sense of it at all

The thoughts are in my head are so surreal

I'm trying to sort out the way I feel

I see machines when I close my eyes

I can't sleep no matter how I try

I don't think you're listening, no

What I'd give for some consistency

And the lights go out

And the lies come down

And I still can make no sense of it at all
(...sense of it all...no sense of it at all)

And the lies come out

And the lights go down

And we still can make no sense of it at all

"SAM, YOU KNOW SHE'S DYING"

Sam, you know she's dying

And there's nothing you can do so let her go

The family's in the front room crying

Well it took so long but now I think they know

How do we tell her parents?

And how can we tell all her kids?

How will we tell anyone who gave a damn?

Because nobody did

Sam, you know she's dying

Her eyes are closed, she's comatose and grey

Well, I bet you thought that I was lying

But there's truth in every morbid word I say

It's too late now

And all her letters home you never read

They won't change a thing or resurrect that feeling

Or bring her back to you...she's dead

(...she's dead)

Sam, you know she's dying

Sam, you know...

"COLD WAR"

I looked into your empty faces

I saw it through your hollow eyes

They take me to familiar places

Like Heaven falling from the sky

I need to know there's something more

Answers we're not ready for

The congregation marches down the street

In a cold war

It's come to envelope us all

And just the realization

Could save country from a fall...

Annihilation

I need to know there's something new

Something we're prepared to do

Forced to kill to make a point

It's just another job for you

These hordes that gather nightly

To fade into a scene

Avoiding just to spite me

Afraid of what they've seen

It's come to envelope us all

And just the realization

Could save, save this country from a fall

"CLOWNS"

The stone-still faces and the shallow eyes

I've grown accustomed to

I hear the people laughing, their mocking sound always

Reminds me of you

I know they're laughing at me

And I've known it all along

I'm laughing, too

I try to reassess the situation and look at it

From every side

I live in desperation and when I hear your voice

I realize

I know you're laughing at me

And I've known it all along

I'm laughing, too

You're laughing at me
It's enough to make me cry

And I do

You're laughing at me

You're laughing at me

"MARK WHITE'S DEAD"

HEYYYYY!

Mark White's dead! I shot him in the head!

Mark White's dead! I shot him in the head!

He had no soul. He was a real asshole

He had no soul. He was a fuckin' asshole

Asshole!

Oh, Lord forgive me I know I have sinned but I

Just couldn't help it, he was getting on my nerves

Mark White's dead and nobody cares

Mark White's dead...nobody cares

Nobody cares

All of his friends were gone in the end

All of his friends were gone in the end

All of his friends were gone

When I killed him

Mark White's dead! I shot him in the head!

Mark White's dead! I shot him in the head!

"LESSONS"

Talked about the Golden Rule, I thought I had it down

Never called my brothers "fool" until they weren't around

Then I finally realized that I was just like them

And all the ones I criticized are teaching me again

These are the lessons that I've learned

These are the lessons that I've learned

These are the lessons that I've learned

Wished upon a lucky star and saw it falling down

I'm still wondering where you are, lying on the ground

Luck and hope are fantasies and dreams that don't come true

I have learned it painfully but I still wait for you

These are the lessons that I've learned

These are the lessons that I've learned

These are the lessons that I've learned

I've learned...I've learned

Wishing on a lucky star for you

Waiting 'til the end of time for you

"SOMEONE"

Is it too much for me to expect? 

Is there anyone who really understands?

I'm drowning and the audience just cheers

No one's reaching out for my hand

All I really need is someone who cares about me

All I want, all I need is

Someone

"We're not paid to have concern for you

You can't expect that from us"

I have no expectations now

Not hope or faith or trust...trust

If somehow I cried out to you

In a hopeless, desperate way

I don't think you would understand even then

I heard you laughing...you're laughing when I say

All I really need is someone who cares about me

All I want, all that I need is

Someone who cares

Who cares...

Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares?

"LITTLE GIRL"

It could have been her mother holding her hand

But she seemed so much older, I don't understand

On the radio they told me who she was

Now I gotta have her simply just  because

I need a little girl...little girl

I need a little girl...little girl

She's old enough to be a mother, too

And I think I'd love her more than I love you

I'd like to hold her...I could be her man

She's got another woman by the hand

I need a little girl...alright

I need a little girl...a little girl

Little girls got crazy little looks

Got their little notepads and their little black books

Make me turn around and take another look

Another look

(Gotta turn the page, said Bob Seger...I like what I see)

Gotta be a reason for the way I feel

Sometimes I think I'm dreaming, that she can't be real

But I see her coming, I don't know where to start

I take their love...I tear it apart

Cause I need a little girl...just a little bit

A little girl...a little bit

And I want her...shit, I gotta have her

Need a little girl...just a little

(Hey, over there, I know you're not here, but Hi anyway!)

"KARI KARI"

I want to read her diary

And I want to read her poetry

I wanna get inside behind the shadow in her eyes

With open eyes she still can't see

She just smiles back at me

She's just like all the rest and I'll listen to all of her lies

Ooh, I want her for my own...like all the other guys do

Ooh, I want to call my own the sadness in her eyes

I want to find her address

I wanna ask her to marry me

I want to call her on the telephone and see if she's real

The phone rang twenty times

I loved her for her mind

No answer to justify the stupid way I feel

Ooh, I want her for my own...like all the other guys do

Ooh, I want to call my own the sadness in her eyes

The phone rang twenty times

I loved her for her mind

No answer to justify the stupid way I feel

"PILLS AND ALCOHOL"

Grown immune to change, I'm changing everyday

The blood that flowed so freely doesn't wash away

A stain that turns from crimson into something close to grey

Makes me want to laugh at you...makes me want to change

Can you take it seriously?

I just want to laugh

And I think He's smiling, too

I know you're talking about me and I know you're watching me

I oscillate from the thought that you might like what you see

I can look in the mirror and see someone I never knew

It's the same feeling I get when I'm looking at you

And I'm looking at you

And I'm looking to you

And I'm looking through you

And I'm looking through you

And I'm looking right through you

Right through you

No solutions in sight...pills and alcohol

No solution in sight, just pills and alcohol

Pills and alcohol... pills and alcohol

Pills and alcohol

I just wanna laugh at you

I just wanna laugh at you

"GAMES"

I was gonna leave until you caught my eye

With a wink you pulled me back into your velvet life

All the doors are locked, the windows closed and sealed

Can't get in or out of this crazy way I feel

And it seems so strange

I'm still not tired of your games

I've lost again

These are games I'll never win

You spoke of love, I know you spoke the truth

I sat for hours listening to you

Love letters and poetry that didn't rhyme

We were so anesthetized by time

Today I saw it as you walked right out of the room

Your smile had faded, you knew you were wrong

And it's always been the same

We both play our stupid little games

I've lost again

But these are games I'll never win

"WE DREAMED"

Your happiness forced, we've come to an end

The years that are left we only pretend

A smile or a hope uncomfortably rare

A dream we've forgotten...an unanswered prayer

We dreamed of a future bright as the sun

Each day as the first, we'd only just began

We dreamed of forever no matter the cost

We woke up together, another dream lost

Another dream lost

Death draws us closer while age tears apart

No more love songs and no broken hearts

You'll finally rest and leave me behind

Accustomed by now to living alone

"UNTITILED"

Happy is as happy was and all my songs sound alike

"DISTANCE AND DREAMING"

-instrumental-

"TO AUBREY"

(lyrics are improvised and mostly indecipherable)


Side B follows in the preceding post...

"Melancholia" side B

"THE LIGHT IS FADING"


I take this seriously...these things you understand
You think I'm special but I am just a man
Not much of one at that...so many times I've failed
(unintelligible)

The light is fading slowly
In the distance, in an instant, in the sun
I'm a liar, I'm the fool, I'm the one

The taste of blood is not sweet...did you know it's on your breath
The sick, sweet smell of poison, the aftertaste of death
I take this seriously...is there something wrong?
Please let me know...I heard it in a song
(...in a song)

The light is fading
In the distance, in an instant, in the sun
I'm a liar, I'm the fool, I'm the one


"HOUSE"


(This is the House...here we go...)

House...House...House...House...
Home...Home...Home...Home...
House....House....House....House...House... House
Home...Home...Home...Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!

House...House...House...
My house is not a home
It's not a home
Home...Home...House...Hahaha...House
This house is not a home
Home
House is not a home
It's just a house
It's not even a nice house
It's not even a big house
It's sure ain't the White House

It's not a house, it's my home
It's my home...Home?
House!
House house house!
Hey, can you hear me out there?
I'm talking about my home
I'm talking about wonderin' how to play the guitar with some confidence
Confidence in my house
House...I'm talking about the house
And the house on the hill
And the house in hell
The home of the devil and all his sweet demons
And all his...mutha...
In the house....House....House....House....

How am I going to end this song?
I'll sing about my home...home...
In my
HOUSE!!!!!!!!


"AS IT SEEMED"


Love is real in storybooks and pictures in my mind
In the world it's not the same, and so, so hard to find
If we dream of love and peace we only fool ourselves
And we reach our dying day in our own private hell

Seems so real we want to believe
In the end we've been deceived
Love is only real in our dreams
And nothings as it seemed

I love you and you love me, like some romantic song
That I used to sing for you...I believed it for too long
And now the truth creeps in on me and now I realize
The stories told in Sunday school were lies

Seems so real we want to believe
But in the end we've only been deceived
Love is only real in our dreams
Nothing's as it seemed
Nothings as it seemed

I wanna ask her to marry me
I wanna see if she's real
No answer to justify...


"ALL TOMORROW' S PARTIES"


words and music by Lou Reed


"LOVE WILL TEAR US APART"


lyrics by Ian Curtis
music by Curtis, Sumner, Hook, Morris


"DISCOVERY"


Understand
We search for a reason
In the rain that falls on your head
Longing to fly
In every direction
Held down
(unintelligible)

This was your goal
Yes, this was your freedom
This is your life
Uncomfortably numb
No vision, no prayers
No reason to go on
You wait for an answer that just doesn't come

Freedom discovery...screaming discovery
Design discovery...challenge discovery
Discovery

Still you won't cry
You cling to your manhood
Or some set of rules
That makes you feel right
It comes from within
You don't understand it
You let it slip by you every night

Your happiness comes
In seven explosions
In the seventh a mirror
You can return to
You see after all
You're not even in it
Then walk through the glass
As day passes through

Freedom...Freedom


''CLOSE MY EYES"


Ah, just for tonight...just for tonight
I can dream of you...something you don't understand


"FIGHTING/FROM THE EARTH"


Laughter stains the innocent
A funeral threat she never meant
Sirens outside prophesied
Never calmed the savage pride

Ha! Ha! Ha!...and on and on
Until the last demon's gone
When that ghost had gone away
With no one there I heard her say

I still haven't forgotten what I'm fighting for
Still haven't forgotten what I'm fighting for

Laughter once your greatest friend
Points and mocks you in the end
Terrible and terrified
On a corner where she cried

Bonds of leather around her wrists
What could be as fun as this?
And the leather's colored rust
And her face is black with dust
Except the lines below her eyes
A trail of all the tears she's cried
But she'll be well another day
But you didn't hear her say

I still haven't forgotten what I'm fighting for

Confusion and nothing more

I believe...In your eyes I see love, love my love
You've no heart...too far too far
See, I'm so far, I've been up there
See, I'm so far, I've been up there
Climb down...see I'm so far, I've been up there
Come down my love...I'm so far, I've been up there
Take my name, my love...I've been up there
You run...I'm so far, I've been up there
Run, too far, I'm so far, I've been up there
I've been up there...I've been up there
I've been in there...I've been in there

Does it make you wonder...what a faraway place
Does it make you wander to a faraway place
Transit unsuccessful...transit transit unsuccessful
We fall from the earth...far from the earth
Too far from the earth
Much too far...much too far


"LOVELESS LOVE SONG"


Light on
Holiest light on
See them vanish
You ain't safe anymore
You ain't safe anymore

Lovely light on
Loveless love song
Leave me out alone
You don't have to lock the door
Perfect for a circle in square
Circle in square

Lovely light on
Loveless long song
Looking out the door
He ain't safe for...
Loveless love song


"WILD THING"


originally performed by The Troggs

"CIRCLES (REPRISE)"


see Side A



(About 99% of the lyrics to "Melancholia" were easily deciphered. In a couple of instances where I could not understand a line I have noted it. On a couple of occasions I have added a word or two that I felt was probably in the spirit of the song. Like I said, some of these lyrics are decent, some are total crap. But they all pretty much sum up my state of mind at the time. Which, I suppose, must have been pretty bleak, seeing as how some of these songs almost come off as suicide notes. Oh, well. I feel a LOT better these days and my nihilistic streak had run it's course long ago).

Jenny Lee and the Preacher's Son

I was looking through some old notebooks earlier and came across this poetic masterpiece. Actually I'm not sure if it was meant to be a ribald poem or a song. It could probably work either way. But it made me laugh and I had to share it...

JENNY LEE AND THE PREACHER'S SON

Well now Jenny Lee she was a hooker
  She made about a grand a night
But Jenny, she weren't no looker
  She could give a man one hell of a fright
We used to wonder how she stayed so busy
  Good Lord, she was almost rich
The other gals on the corner didn't like her
  They all called her a skanky old witch
One night Jenny Lee was out working
  Making a midnight run
She was just gettin' done with a client
  Got a call from Reverend Simmons' son
He said, "Jenny Lee, you know I been lookin'
  "Been admirin' your stuff from afar
"And I'm hungry for what you got cookin'
  Could you meet me in a half of an hour?"
She said, "Ben Simmons, I just don't believe it
  "Mister, you should be ashamed
"Don't you care 'bout your reputation?
  "Why you wanna play this game?"
"I ain't nothin' like my daddy",
  He said, "Sometimes I gets me an itch
"And my daddy's money can't scratch it
  "Besides, he's a son of a bitch"
Now Jenny's jaw dropped wide opened
  Said "Simmons you just crossed the line"
Said "Your daddy's money can't scratch your itch
  "But it sure as hell can scratch mine!"

dive bombing

The man was not the kind to say "I love you"
He'd look you in the eye and you'd know how he felt
When Dad was of a mind to tell you something
He said it with an open fist, a switch or a belt

Dive bombing alone
After all the bars have closed
Dive bombing was all he'd ever known

He spent his life running from ghosts and demons
You must have been blind
One day when you look into the mirror
I wonder who you'll find?

Dive bombing alone
After all the crowd's gone home
Dive bombing will sure enough get you low

And it may as well have been blood
All the oil and the sweat and the mud
That stained his hands
Left their mark on the wood
He did all that you can, that he could
He did all that you can, that he could
He did all that you can, that he could
He did all that you can, more than you ever even thought he would
He did all...He did all...
After all, it's only love
And dive bombing is so much easier from above

She's So Vain

She's meditating on the mantra of her own name
When she puts her heart into it she can understand
Comprehend and explain

She wants to tell you her life history
Is a mystery that only she can see
She wants to give those wasted memories
Back to me

But she won't need anything
I could offer her anyway
She's so vain

She's memorizing "Sheep In Fog"
Sees her tortured soul in poetry and Burroughs
Keroauc, Ginsberg, Zimmerman and Plath

So she won't need anything
I could offer her anyway
She's so vain

She's meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra of her own name
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra of her own name

Drive All Night

Promise speeds along the highway
People and places blurred to the side
How many miles
To the end of the ride

Watch the white lines hypnotize
Paths for us to memorize
So we can drive all night

Cross the state line over the river
Turn on the radio, sing along
How many songs
Could we sing about tonight?

Watch the white lines, hypnotized
Paths we need to memorize
So we can drive all night

Catch your eye in the rear view mirror
Wipe the teardrop from your eye
Pull to the side
Let me drive

"You Don't Know Me That Well"

I'm standing on a stage in some old smoke filled bar
A thousand songs to sing and play on this old guitar
And if you find yourself in even one
I'll leave this place tonight and know my job's been done.
But...

You don't know me that well
You don't know me even well enough to tell
That I'm giving you my heart and soul
The things that last and don't grow old
Did you think these dreams were all for sale?
You don't know me that well

You don't know a goddamn thing
You don't know a goddamn thing
You don't know anything at all

Now I'm playing for a crowd of twenty-two
And it seems like all of them have something else to do
You ask me how I keep on keeping on
You tell me I'm too old, I must have sang my final song
But...

You don't know me that well
You don't know me even well enough to tell
That I'm giving you my heart and soul
The things that last and don't grow old
Did you think these dreams were all for sale?
You don't know me that well

You don't know a goddamn thing
You don't know a goddamn thing
You don't know anything at all

i am

I am history's cruel design
A suffocating clinging poison vine

(But I am waiting...can you hear me?
Calling out from the other side)

I am the quicksand of your memories
To suck you down if you get lost in me

(Take my hand
If you have ears to hear
If you have eyes to see)

CAN YOU MEET ME IN THIS MOMENT NOW
KNOW THAT YOU ARE HERE WITH ME SOMEHOW
TO KILL "I WAS" , LET "I WILL" BE DAMNED
TO FIND "I AM"
TO KNOW "I AM THAT I AM"

I'm memorizing "Sheep In Fog"
I've found my tortured soul
In poetry of Burroughs
Kerouac, Ginsberg, Zimmerman and Plath

(There are no words where I am
Yet the silence speaks of worlds
And your heartbeat makes us laugh)

I've tried to cripple you inside
To feed your ego and your pride
Give you something you could call your own
Give you somewhere you could hide

(Step outside)

MEET ME IN THIS MOMENT NOW
KNOW THAT YOU ARE HERE WITH ME SOMEHOW
TO KILL "I WAS" , LET "I WILL" BE DAMNED
TO FIND "I AM"
TO KNOW "I AM THAT I AM"

"Bipolar"

Beauty is the most depressing thing
Light will guide you further into the darkness
Ignorance a blessing to the meek
Inheriting the kingdom as we speak

A mind can only take so much philosophy
Until a gray confusion settles in
Is it pretentious analyzing life?
Pity for the fool who even tries

I am a silly man
Remember, we were young
I want another chance

Laughing at the creatures we've become
Evolution's coming 'round full circle
Innocence a blessing to the child
Inheriting a kingdom we've defiled

I am a silly man
Remember, we were young
Laughing, holding hands
Our time had not yet come
Here we are again
All is said and done
I want another chance
I want another chance

"Walking Away"

She says she thinks she needs time
To be alone but you don't know why
She says it's time she took some things for granted
She's got expectations
Curious with an open mind
She's examined her life but she still don't understand it

She don't give me
Any reason to believe I'm not the one
But she don't seem to think that
She needs anything or anyone

Neither one of us is walking away

All she wants are the moon and stars, she says,
"That's not much so I don't know why
You look at me like I've lost my fucking mind"
I've got reservations
Thirty nine and I don't mind dyin'
But how could I give her the moon and the stars in the mourning sky?

"Lift up your hands," she says,
"You can almost touch them
You could bring one down for me
It's easy."
She sees me and I'm walking away
In her mind's eye I'm walking away
Walking away
In my mind's eye she's walking away

But neither one of us is walking away

"Songwriter"

Songwriter and an unfinished song about real love
A song of love as magic, but madness is all he dreams of
Holds it in the palm of his hand
Deserves a kiss of life
His creation they'd never understand
Or give a damn

The years roll on and on and his song is never realized
He looked for truth in beauty but all he found there were lies
See it in the sadness in his eyes
Count the tears that fall
Standing with his back against the wall
They'll watch him crawl

Songwriter, tonight he wrote his final melody
A sweet surrender, he held it up for all the world to see
They crushed it in the palms of their hands
They threw it to the wind
Just another remnant of a crazy man
Who gave a damn

"When It Rains"

It's raining outside but I don't mind
I kinda like it when it rains
You've been on my mind all of this time
I kinda hoped you'd feel the same
But you must have been blind
Not to see
I was falling in love last night
And all I was before...

A thunderstorm in the middle of the night
And we were gettin' high
So we packed up the pipe, went on a moonlight drive
Then you looked me in the eyes
You must have been blind
Not to see
I was falling in love last night
And all I was before you
I've forsaken, I've forgotten
And a stronger man than me could bear the mirror
The mirror of your eyes

It's raining outside but I don't mind
No, I don't mind
It's raining outside, don't run and hide
No, I don't mind

"Stars in the Sky"

I dreamed about you last night for the first time
In a long, long, lonely, lonely time
Sharing a world that you've most likely forgotten
That vanished when I opened up my eyes

It was the same old dream that used to haunt me
Every night when you first said goodbye
And it makes me feel so sad and unforgiven
But I don't know why

Now the stars in the sky are all we have in common
The air we breathe is the only thing we share
The memories that remain are almost forgotten
They're as far from me
As the stars I see in the sky

Once I had faith, my faith was strong
That what we had would last forever long
But it's so hard to believe in something you can't even see
How can you tell if it's there or if it's gone?

How could you tell me you'd rather be alone?
You packed all your bags and you walked right out the door
Left me to pick up the pieces of all you left behind
To try to carry on

Now the stars in the sky are all we have in common
The air we breathe is the only thing we share
The memories that remain are almost forgotten
They're as far from me
As the stars I see in the sky

"Erase"

I got no reason to lie to you, girl
I've got no time for the changes in your life
We both saw this coming a long time ago
We both know, it's surely no surprise
But it's alright if you stay one more night
I don't mind
Got some room by my side
But if you're of a mind to leave it all behind tonight
It's all the same to me
It's just a game to me

Girl, I have tried to convince myself
That there is a rhyme and a reason
For all of this time you've been reading my mind
And I know you don't cry so I 'll take my sweet time
Remembering the future
Girl, I will try to erase you from my life

Been one too many times, little girl,
You have looked me straight in the eye
And the pretty words that rolled off of your sweet lips
Were all tainted with the colors of lies
But I believed each last one of them
'Cause some of them gave me reasons to live
But I'm slowly coming 'round to realizing that what I really need
May be something you could never give

Girl, I have tried to convince myself
That there was a time and a season
For our love to live, and our love to die
And I know you won't cry so I'll take my precious time
Remembering the future
And girl, I will try to erase you from my life

"Shaman's Offering"

Well, I've looked through your old records
And the books upon your shelves
And I have decided
That you and no one else could understand me
Could understand the things that make me who I am

And I wonder what you'd do
If you knew what I was thinking
That I've been sinking
In a liquid sea of love
Since I first saw you
You're the one I'm dreaming of

Sacred woman
Shamed and beaten
Shaman's offering refused

See, it all comes down to you
It really comes right down to you, girl
It's like my whole world's
Revolving around you
All I do
Is to make you happy

Maybe in this life could I wish
For such a balance
Girl, you simply take my breath away
And I won't miss it...

Sacred woman
Shamed and beaten
Shaman's offering refused
Graven image
Blamed and broken
Shaman's offering
Shaman's offering

"The Wait"

I have waited patiently, of patience I am made
And many years have washed away the bitterness and hate
But I don't understand it yet
I can't forgive and just forget
Now nothing you could say or do could make up for the wait

The world has kept on turning since you burned mine to the ground
And I have stopped pretending what I've lost will ever be found
But I can't comprehend the fact
That you are never coming back
It's something I've accepted but the wait still drags me down

You took away my sunny day
Left me here with the little things that kill
A paper bag of broken promises
Some photographs
And a bottle of your pills

So I will wait patiently, of patience I am made
And if I never hear your voice again I'll call it a fair trade
For the dreams I stole away from you
Squandered in a day or two
And wasted on a memory that's left me here to wait

"Runaways"

Throughout my life
A few things I have found
There are some who'll lift you up
There are some who'll drag you down
There are some who'll make you wonder
What you're still doing in this town
And they're never satisfied
Until they see you in the ground

And they're never satisfied with anything they see in mirrors
And they always wonder why they have to sleep alone
And they're never pacified, no matter what you give 'em
Just like runaways that are never going home

It's easy to sleep and hide
Hide under sheets all night
In Dreams you forget
What you've been shown in the Light
Crosses burning to the left
Hanging tree to the right
They're selling their souls
To the darkness
In the darkness of the night

And they're never satisfied with anything they see in mirrors
And they always wonder why they have to sleep alone
And they're never pacified, no matter what you give 'em
Just like runaways that are never going home

"Midland Street West"

See the cars that are parked along Midland Street
Hear the sounds of laughter, music, conversation
Walk on by, never knowing the people
In the house on the corner
Where the lights stay on all night

If you walk along the sidewalks of your mind
You may find yourself on Midland Street West
Where the door to the house on the corner
Open to a friend
But don't look them in the eyes

And you dreamed you were a disciple of Christ
He was turnin' the water into wine
And you thought you could walk on the water
So you tried...

Wednesday nights on Midland Street West
Where the sacraments are weed and wine
And the sacrifice is fuel to feed the fire
That burns away the sadness
And reminds you of your dreams

And you dream of perfect circles
Figure eights on their sides
And a world without beginning or ending
Only night
On Midland Street West

Are you feeling the winds of war hard against your back?
Are you remembering how she said she would come back?
Are you waiting on the Second Coming?
Or do you wish you were still at Midland Street West?

"Make Yourself at Home"

We would run through the woods to the silos
Empty of grain we’d just crawl on in
To scream and shout and laugh at the sound of the echoes
Didn’t even know that wasn’t what they were for back then

And we’d sit and hang our feet from the edge of a wooden bridge
That creaked, groaned and sagged when a truck passed us by
Well, if that bridge still stands I call it a miracle
Will it still be there when I open my eyes?

In the fields of the autumn leaves
To the gardens of stone
You’ve got to make yourself at home

Rollercoaster rides on the back roads we’d go
Pickin’ up pecans and puttin’ ‘em in a sack
That we sold for a quarter for five to an old man
Who smiled and waved as we left, hollerin’ “Hurry on back!”

Hear the wind blow through the maple trees, son,
Leave that memory alone
And try to make yourself at home

Singing “In the Garden” at the early morning service
With the other kids, dressed in our Sunday best
All our parents in the congregation listening
If you could have seen their smiles
You’d know how we were blessed

A lot of years have passed by since I last saw you
A lot of work, a lot of pain, but a whole lot of smiles
Boy, ain’t it funny what time can do to you
So let’s stop the clock and go back for a while

To the fields of the autumn leaves
Leave these gardens of stone
And try to make ourselves a home
We’ve got to make ourselves at home

"The Hanging Tree"

I've walked along these muddy banks a thousand times before
And watched the waves wash clean the trees that grow along the shore
I've sat there for hours until the sun had long gone down
.....To see the hanging tree

There it stands, a silhouette against a frozen moon
The wind blows through it's brittle leaves and whistles out a tune
A song I can recall I sang the night I took my true love
.....To the hanging tree

Seasons try to tear it down but it will never die
Sometimes if you listen close you'll hear a young girl cry
Crying for the innocence she sacrificed to me
.....Beneath the hanging tree