Sunday, September 26, 2010

Puppet

My arms grow tired
Yet the battle rages on
What am I to do?
Lifted to the sky the nations prevail
Heavy weights to my sides
We fall
Responsibility has made an old man of me
They grumble and curse
They whisper plots to have me killed
They have no use for me, looking forward to the day
The cow brings forgetfulness and madness and lust
Depravity and apathy
Still my arms point to the heavens
Still out enemies fall

My arms grow tired
I can no longer hold them up
Useless limbs, they drop
And I look to the battlefield
Blood runs in streams
Silence lost to screams
But no longer do our men prevail
They join their women, their children
Beaten down with rocks and clubs
Primitive knives and swords
I feel throbbing in my wrists and my shoulders burn
The blood flows down into each limb and makes them even heavier
But what am I to do?

Come, my brother
Heed my call, strong companion
Be my strength in this cruel time
Hold my hands, both of you
Like dead tree limbs raise them
Hold them fast and hold them long
For the battle has not ended
Hoist my dead arms high until our enemies fall
Until the last bone is broken
Until there is no one left to boast

Let our people look to the mountain
To see the miraculous sight
The weathered prophet, the withered puppet
Leaning on the rock

Let them recover in my shadow as the sun sets
Let them look up to see how a broken man has saved them

My arms grow tired
Suspended
It won't be too long now
I will become a serpent coiled around a staff

Friday, September 24, 2010


I'm not sure who drew this, but whoever it was had a lot of talent and imagination.


Alice Cooper: "Black Juju" live 1971

I can't believe I found this vintage clip of Alice Cooper performing "Black Juju" way back in 1971. Excellent sound and video quality, even if the band's overall mix was a bit sketchy. I made the comment on facebook that people compare him to Marilyn Manson, and it's always about who is the most shocking of the two. I will admit that Manson is shocking. That's just about all he is. But where Manson shocks, Cooper DISTURBS, and this is abuntantly evident in this clip. Enjoy nine minutes of pure, dark genius.




AWESOME!


*******************************************


After posting this I went to YouTube to scour for old Coop videos. I was surprised by how many I found, so what the hell...









Thursday, September 23, 2010

This kind of thing may only be of interest to me, but here you go:

NATIONAL LAMPOON MAGAZINE COVERS

Oh, and here's the first National Lampoon I ever bought. June 1974. I had just turned 12. And people wonder why my sense of humor is so messed up.


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Sorry for the lack of activity lately. I haven't gone this long without posting in a long time. When I last apologized I said it was because I had a lot of thinking to do. I still do, I guess, but most of it is already done. It's nothing I'd want to share on this blog, though. At least not at this time. The main reasons I haven't posted lately are:

1. The dog we adopted a few weeks ago demands a lot of attention.
2. I've been doing a lot of writing at the Hello Poetry website, where I am currently at Number Four in the list of Favorite Poets. Not bad for only being there for only being there for about a week. Yesterday I wrote what may well be the best poem I've ever composed. It's called "Rain" and it's at the Bipolar Confessional as well. It's based on a cool idea I came up with earlier that morning...an idea I think would make for an really good movie.
3. With all that poetry writing my wrists have been KILLING me. I'd taken control of the situation fairly well for quite some time, but it's turned bad on me again. I have been under the impression that weather, and changes in the weather, were partly to blame. That may well be so...but it's been fairly stable the last several days, so I just don't know.

That's about it. Hopefully the pain will subside, I will find something to write and/or post about, and we can get this ball rolling again. In the meantime, enjoy the Music Video of the Week below. "The Cisco Kid" by War...BADASS!

Music Video of the Week: War


"The Cisco Kid"
War

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Rain

The first raindrop tapped the top of my bald head
Like a tiny drop of bird shit
I wiped it off, unthinking, and went back to the sheep

The clouds were gray, as gray as I'd ever seen them
A hue that threatened total, complete darkness
Yet still enough sunlight peeking through
To keep me from being discouraged when it began to sprinkle
A few hundred birds
The sheep needed tending
I'd already lost one in the last week
I'd given up on ever finding it
To slaughter, sacrifice and eat
Lucky sheep, lost in the darkness, waiting for the wolves
I was sure it had no feelings and that it could care less
When the sprinkling turned to rain

When the sprinkling turned to rain
I said, "To hell with it"
Turned and left the fields, pissed off at the sky
Cursing the Deity that had ruined my day

The woman I called "wife" stood with me at the window
Watching the rain come down in sheets
In torrents
I'd seen worse
But those clouds...
The dirt had long since turned to mud
A thick, deep, gelatinous mud
Quicksand...we stayed in the house
For fear it would suck us down to Sheol

Still a ray of sunshine
Just enough that we could see what we had done

Hours passed, and my sons joined us
Congregated at the window to witness the spectacle
A rarity, a flood, seeping into our home, soaking the stone floor
We lived in the valley
So we'd seen them before
We knew what it was like to get our feet wet
Up to the ankles
But the water kept rising

The water kept rising

We didn't really begin to worry until
Adam's ale reached our bellies
Until we could feel it swirling and tugging
Rising even still, so deep a current
My wife began to cry, unsure what to think
My sons tried hard
To show no fear
Failing
Me?
All I could think about was the sheep
Each and every one
Floating on the surface of a pond
That hadn't been there yesterday
When they had roamed, mindless, without feeling
Caring only for sustenance

I couldn't help but wonder
The realization terrified me
Struck me with dumb fear
Is this our fate?
A thought too incredible to contemplate
Or entertain for even a moment
Though it had occurred to my wife
My sons' quiet resolve had been shattered by it

I used to love the sound of rain
Falling into puddles outside my door
I don't know why
But it was comforting
Soothing
Relaxing
Delivering me to deep, dreamless sleep
I'd wake up in the morning completely
Rested
And
Ready
For another day
To work the cursed ground
Resenting my lot
And the God who cursed it

The rainwater reached our necks
The screams were loud and desperate
I recognized each one
Though never so desperate
My wife clung to me like rotten seaweed
Her shrieking brittle and annoying against the side of my head
It hurt my ears and I would have told her to shut up
Had I not understood exactly why she was yelling
Yet I kept my resolve
Barely and likely to break before long
When the water reached my nose
My sons had floated to the other side of the house
I could hear them, too
But I could hardly see them
Because the sunlight
The terrible, cruel sunshine that so selfishly illuminated this ungodly scene
Was beginning to fade into the black clouds
Yesterday I would have closed my eyes to block it out
Burning annoyance
Now I knew it made no difference
A prayer for the rain
To stop
Would fall
On deaf ears

My sons, my pride and joy, my legacy
Both floating, dead, not 10 feet away
Rivulets of water dripped down their upturned faces
So much like sweat from a hard days work
I wanted to wipe them dry and tell them I was sorry
For bringing them into this world
This awful world
This hateful world
I wanted to somehow bring them back to life
Together we would damn the God who would do something like this to us

My wife, the apple of my eye
My helpmate
Friend, lover, the one person I could not live without
Her screams were muted, aquatic glosollolia
I could almost hear the sound of my name
Muffled as water found it's way down her throat
The look in her eyes was chilling
Despair, hope slowly draining away as she drank, unwilling
She begged me to stop it
STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!!!!!!!!

The rain kept falling
The sunlight vanished
I was in the dark
I felt the world flow in
A new atmosphere to get used to
Alone...alone
No more reason to worry about a lost sheep
I'm sure wrathful God had more important things on His Mind

Days later the rain still had not abated
But I was no longer alone
A nation, a race, a species
Floated at the top of an ocean that covered the globe
Corpses bumping into each other, dragged by the undertow
Flushed down by eddies
A macabre soup of carcasses
United
All but Eight to find and bury us

..............................................................

From the heights of a clear blue sky
In the bright, clean light of the sun
Heaven opens
A dove descends

Monday, September 20, 2010

Doublemint

Beyond the reaches of my memory
Through fading, rotting past
I will climb down the ladder

Her mouth tasted like Doublemint gum
Her favorite kind, I made it mine
How many times? So many times
We traced the shapes of our lips with our tongues
Like a man gone blind, I still know hers well
And the soft, sweet difference
Between the bottom and the top
One at a time, I took them in my mouth
To savor, none in the world
Quite like them
Faces dangerously close
I had to shut my eyes
Or else find my soul
Drowning in the infinite pool
Of her irises
(A baptism half complete)
The reflections in her pupils
Were too much mirrors
I could never bear
Because they showed me worth loving
Because they showed me with wonder
Because they showed me worth saving
Worth healing with love
All the while I knew better
But I saw her with passion
And I saw her with greed
I saw her with wanting
I saw her with need
I saw her as savior
The meaning of life
Never once thinking...

It's time I climbed back up this ladder
Back with this moment I've stolen from her
A diamond I've dug up from the sands of forgetfulness
Hard as the heart she left beating
Hard as the heart she left bleeding

Sunday, September 19, 2010

She's So Vain

She's meditating on the mantra of her own name
When she puts her heart into it she can understand
Comprehend and explain

She wants to tell you her life history
Is a mystery that only she can see
She wants to give those wasted memories
Back to me

But she won't need anything
I could offer her anyway
She's so vain

She's memorizing "Sheep In Fog"
Sees her tortured soul in poetry and Burroughs
Keroauc, Ginsberg, Zimmerman and Plath

So she won't need anything
I could offer her anyway
She's so vain

She's meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra of her own name
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra
Meditating on the mantra of her own name

The Law Is Abolished

The Law is abolished
Powerless to save
As it ever was
A long lost language etched
Burned into the hard element
Subject to erosion
Replaced by flesh and blood
Speaking the same message
"Mercy, not Sacrifice"

The Word is established
Hated for its Truth
Love your brother
Love yourself
Impossible
Impossible
So few can read between the lines:
TRY

It is in the effort
That we find communion
With each other
The" judging not lest ye be judged"
That fires the engines
Of life in the world
Ruled by the powers of darkness
Yet
Even so, still the world we live in
Usurped
We are prisoners of darkness

Chained in Plato's cave
Loving the absence
The void is all we've known
All there is to love
For love will be love and
Love will have it's way
Love will find something to love
Thy brothers
Thy self
Sure, unobtainable

Love nonetheless, though darkened, restrained
A teaser
Just enough to make you want more
Just enough to make you believe
You need more

Thomas can't see it
Tommy don't know
Tom's a doubter
Tommy's the man
Thomas knows his shit
Tommy's not sure
Tom hates what he cannot know
Tommy knows nothing
Thomas hates himself
Tommy wants the moon
Tom won't be satisfied until he gets the moon
Tommy doesn't know how
Thomas wants to believe
Tommy finds it very hard
Tom won't believe what he cannot see
Tommy wishes
Thomas needs hope
Tommy wishes it away
Tom won't let himself be happy
Tommy knows fear
Thomas fears happiness
Tommy is terrified of Truth
Tom thinks he might know
Tommy won't accept it
Because the Truth is...
Tommy needs
Thomas needs
Tom needs

The Law is abolished
The chains are broken
All that is left to do
Is give up the shadowplay
Overcome the fear of getting shot in the back
TURN AROUND
Stare into the Light
Let it blind you
And find bliss in the hot, white glare

Turn around
It's not all that hard
Just
TRY

The Word is established
To free the captives
To turn their sights from the inside
To show the way of love
That swirls like a sweet smelling fog in the air around them
To teach them how to cast out devils
Their own demons, Legion
To multiply fish and loaves, to turn nothing into something
TO BREAK THEM DOWN

TO BREAK YOU DOWN
To raze the tower of babel that has been raised in your mind
Swirling with ideas and genius
All the while infected with the opinions of others
Held down by meanness and cruelty of those who don't understand
Dragged down by idiots and buffoons you are commanded to love
Crucified by ignorant people who desire to make themselves your enemies
Brothers
For all this you are asked to love them
For all of this you are expected to love yourself
For all of this, can you believe that redemption is glimpsed?
Is this the price you pay?
Is it worth it?

The chains are broken
The darkness is extinguished
Death has been consumed by death
See the cave for what it is
Your heart
And embrace the Light that illuminated it

Is it worth the price?
Your secret place is sacred
But how can you bring in love
If you don't venture outside to find it?
You will forget what love even is
How can you exercise compassion
If you don't find someone to have compassion for?
How can you forgive if there is no one to forgive?
Yourself? How do you even know HOW to forgive
When you won't forgive yourself?

The Law is abolished
Flesh and blood remain
The essence of the Law now
Shining brightly in your secret place
From behind

Friday, September 17, 2010

Drive All Night

Promise speeds along the highway
People and places blurred to the side
How many miles
To the end of the ride

Watch the white lines hypnotize
Paths for us to memorize
So we can drive all night

Cross the state line over the river
Turn on the radio, sing along
How many songs
Could we sing about tonight?

Watch the white lines, hypnotized
Paths we need to memorize
So we can drive all night

Catch your eye in the rear view mirror
Wipe the teardrop from your eye
Pull to the side
Let me drive

Tyrant's Confession

I took something away from you
It could have saved your life
Or made it more bearable
But I snatched it away
I crushed any hopes you may have had
That it could have helped
All the well knowing, even myself
It would have

Why was I such a bastard?
What did I think I was saving?
What?
Some barely recognized cruelty
I'm loathe to acknowledge
But knew even as I weilded fear
To set you back
Reinforce the notion fixed in your mind
That I am a tyrant
I think you are probably right

And if I am a tyrant
The weight of my offense haunts me and drags me down
I only wish I was strong enough to recognize
DO something about it, usurp my power
If all it is good for is destruction

The regret nests in my chest
Squeezes my heart tightly
Pulls tears from my eyes
A secret agony, a transgression never to be confessed
What have I done?
I cannot, no matter how hard I try, convince myself
That I've done the right thing
Like a good father taking away a favorite toy
To punish
God, I pray somehow he can get it back
Even if I'm not the one who can return it
I would let my trespass fester, rot inside me
If only someone else would give it back to you
Or something better

God is getting tired of hearing me pray for forgiveness
For my persistent petition betrays my lack of faith
His forgiveness was granted the first time I asked
I'm still begging after 3 days
Impossible, it seems, to forgive myself
With this regret crawling inside me, will I ever be able to?

My son, take this guilt from me
Spare me my life
That I might be able to live again without this black hole in my heart
Quickly, cut and dig, yank it out
Resurrect my hope, let me dream,
Before it's too late, before I lose you to the world

Son, you are my hero

Why am I sitting here writing this fucking poem, nothing but a fucking poem, do they have such power? I don't remember poems breaking me down, let alone a poem I'm writing a poem I'm not even finished with a poem that hits me hard like a fucking sledgehammer in my heart, hating myself for writing something so fucking pretentious as "sledgehammer in my heart" and wondering if I should have written "sledgehammer TO my heart", every bit as pretentious and with not a whit of power to stop the tears from flowing and oh, my god, I think I'm speaking in tongues this brutal truth, who do I think I am, is this my reward for taking it away from him and yes I deserve this and a lot more and I fear that I will get a lot more if I don't let it out in some other manner than a fucking poem, a fucking impotent poem a fucking poem that has broken me and brought me to my knees, fucking impotent poem, I should leave the poetry to you because YOU are the one with the gift, YOU are the one with the talent, YOU are the one with the heart and mind to create something worth bothering with and I never meant to take THAT from you, but I took away your paper and I took away your pen and I took away one more shred of respect you may have had left for me, and Oh God I Miss You, and Oh God I Miss You and I can't wait until you get home this afternoon so I can be reminded of why I miss you or no, no, that's not quite right, just trying to sound poetic, what a laugh, what a joke, I Miss You when we're in the same room, if I didn't know that there was a little love left, or if I didn't think I had reason to hope there was a little love left in your heart for me, I would find a way to sleep. I'm settled down now. It's okay, no need to call the cops. I'm done with this poem. This fucking poem that has

Opened my eyes
Made me realize
The weight of my offense
My transgression in need of confession
(But to whom?)
That God had better just get used to my prayers
That
I HATE POETRY
I HATE POETRY
I HATE POETRY
I HATE POETRY
I HATE POETRY
I HATE POETRY
I HATE POETRY
I HATE POETRY
I HATE POETRY

Monday, September 13, 2010

Sireeno, our dog



He just loves my feet. Audio/Video sync is off. Sorry. Someone donate a new video camera to me and it won't happen again.

One of my favorite issues from one of the best magazines ever published. It's been at least 40 years since I bought my first copy of Famous Monsters and even now I miss it.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Snooping

I dragged it in
Made it my business
Stuck my hand in a hole in the ground
With my fist
Grabbed a wasp's nest
Even this I felt
Was a sacrifice worth making
I had no business there
Or did I?
Am I not the one responsible?
For this incredible talent
For this broken shell
This anvil I've forged my will upon
Appreciated, rejected, denied, rightfully placed in the trash bin
I made the choice to peer
Into dark places I once shed light into
Before hated age extinguished
No longer needed
Less still wanted
But there I am
The pain in my right hand is excruciating
What power you possess
To strike back
Seemingly glad to inherit
The misery I have nurtured (like a fool)
This perverse love of darkness
But I swear
I risked dipping into this Pandora's Box
For one reason
One reason alone
Because I love you with all that I Am
I cannot bear to tolerate my reflection
In your life
Because my soul longs to know you
As I once knew you
As I can never know you again
Because my instinct is to protect
But mainly
To find out why I've come to hate the person you've become
All the while knowing
That person
Is
Not
You

20 Words

I see atoms
Fall down like rain
A paper thin curtain
Hiding the eternal
A weak barricade
Though strong enough

Saturday, September 11, 2010



Nine years down the road...it's still hard to believe something like 9/11 could have happened. All of the thoughts, all of the memorials...it all boils down to one thing. The world we live in today is only 9 years old.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Conversion Experience #12 (in which Balaam's Donkey places it all in perspective)


I gave the voice a name
It came alive
I had to try and convince myself
It wasn't Me
I wanted the solidification
I needed it to keep me from going insane
Following myself, I needed a rock
I know better now
It came to life and expected me to believe

I slayed that confused god
Took a Rock and put it through his head
Worthless deity
Without flesh or blood
I made it all possible

I know it wasn't yours as your veins
Motivate acid
Blue and disfiguring
Burns through metal

He still hides in a corner
Looking on, thinking
"Behold, a fool. A prodigal idiot, expecting
A celebration
Hide the fatted calf
Call his brother out of hiding
We're gonna wreck this party"

But the animal at my side snickered and said,
"Worry not, human
Your true heart beats again
Your breast is ready
To receive instruction and wisdom"
The animal to my side confused me
All the same he comforted me
"Human being
 Accept
This voice as if it were the muttering of God
For it is"

How deep my being
How deep
How stubborn and obstinate
Refusing to hear
Another voice
Another voice to join the others
To chide, scorn and mock
Blowing through arid places
Melting into the all in one
A spirit I created and named
Legion