Wednesday, December 24, 2014

*at heart I am a mystic/driven by the Spirit*

Bliss taunts me
From the other side of the mirror
Where I've seen those heavenly shores
Imagination clothes brilliance
It is enough
More than enough
It is everything and all things
Nothing and anything
To inhabit as a world of my own
Satisfied in the simple observance
Yes I've basked in the glow of ethereal Oneness
The memory keeps me running
On the promise of reconciliation
And this I believe:
From One I came
To One I shall return
Let all that stands between
Remain as it is, what it is
That I may give it all away when the time comes
And I have Someone to give it to

from Bipolar Confessional

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Maternal Geneology

This is about all I could glean from a free trial subscription to

Maternal grandparents:
Arthur Gibson Vanzant 1893-1967
Birth 2 November 1893 in Arkansas
Death April 1967 in Paden, Okfuskee County, Oklahoma
Helen Vanzant

William Lewis Harrison Vanzant 1852-1908
Birth 2 June 1852 in Alabama
Death 2 March 1908 in Paden, Okfuskee County, Oklahoma
Martha L. Kilgore 1944-1917

William G. Vanzant 1817-1891
Birth 1817 in Tennessee
Death 20 January 1891 in Booneville, Prentiss County, Mississippi
Catherine Baker 1825-1894

Great-Great-Great grandparents:
James VanZandt 1784-1852
Birth 13 July 1784 in Rutherford County, North Carolina
Death 1852 in Tennessee
Sally Upgrove

Great-Great-Great-Great grandparents:
Garrett VanZandt Jr. 1745-1830
Birth 17 August 1745 in North Carolina
Death 27 August 1830 in Barren County, Kentucky
Margaret Smith 1760-1851

Great-Great-Great-Great-Great grandparents:
Garret VanZandt 1709-1787
Birth 1709 in Bensalam, Bucks County, Pennsylvania
Death 23 March 1787 in Rutherford County, North Carolina
Mary Ann Groome 1708-1796

That's right...I couldn't find anything from my dad's side...

Monday, December 8, 2014

Compilation Playlist - Garage A-Go-Go Redux

I lost the original Garage A-Go-Go playlist in which I basically compiled every 60s garage rock and psychedelic band I could find on Spotify. It was a massive undertaking but fun. The results were gratifying too and it wasn't too hard to decide whether or not I should go through the toil and trouble of trying to replicate it, knowing that I probably would miss a few things. What I came up with may well be missing but I think I got the best stuff and may have even come upon some gems I missed the first time around. There is the notable edition of British "Mod" music that I decided to include with the rest because it has a similar enthusiastic amateurish quality to it that I find endearing. 

Phong's Absolution

Phong hit the ground
Within a second of the sound
Of the gunshot that laid him down
Loosened the grip on his own weapon
At the moment of impact
It fell with a thud
Next to his body in the mud
When his head hit the hard earth
He heard thunder and saw light

The bullet in the North Vietnames man's skull was made in America
Loaded by The Poet earlier that afternoon
Along with the rest of his ammo
In the second after Phong died
Poet lowered his sight
And came to an abrupt and awkward halt
There was no denying the man was hit
Even less to prove the man was dead
The hole in the back of the metal helmet
Was the same size as the hole in the back of the dead man's head

Instinct bred caution even so
As The Poet slowly tread the fifteen yards
Between where he stood and where Phong lay
He crouched down
Rolled him over slowly
Placed his fingers on the corpse's eyelids
(I know you can see me)
Shut them gently
(May the darkness be your savior)

The Poet took the bayonet knife bolstered at his side
Pressing down on Phong's shoulder
He cut an incision between the man's chest muscles
With a gentle sawing he cut through tendons and bone
Until a trough had formed
A six inch baptismal filled with blood
Still almost warm as life
The Poet plunged his left hand deep into the pool
Grabbed hold of Phong's heart and tugged
He caught the resistance of the arteries
And severed them
With the knife in his right hand

Raising the dripping organ to his nose
The poet inhaled deeply the strange odor
Inspiration teased
Quickly The Poet brought Phong's heart to his mouth
With a huge bite his mouth was full
His brain felt as it would explode
The drama and the dreams of the whole world
He chewed and savored the flavor
He had come to appreciate it during his time in the jungle
As well the firm gelatinous texture
The saltiness of the blood
This was The Poet's reward

With the last swallow he wiped his hands on Phong's shirt
He felt a piece of paper folded in the right pocket
A letter, written in Vietnamese
And though he didn't know the language
Somehow a few sentences made sense

My soul is tormented
I am a liar
My wicked heart has made me do despicable things
Words and actions without regard
Of consequences
Things that would hurt people, if they only knew
If they knew what I have done
They would rise against me and do murder
I would deserve whatever punishment they saw fit
For I am a renegade poet
And I have lost all respect for the art"

As he finished reading the page
The Poet felt nausea in his gut
He dropped the paper
Bent over and vomited
He heaved several times until his stomach was empty
Then he just stood there, hands on knees
Staring at the mess
(I have a message for all mankind)
He forced himself to look at it
Until inspiration left him

He reached for his gun
Stood up and walked to Phong's rifle
Bent to pick it up as well
Strapping it to his side
The Poet walked away
As a gentle breeze blew the confession
Far from Phong's lonesome body

- from Bipolar Confessional

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

John Denver - Golden: JAC's Best of John Denver

Long ago I overcame any problems I might have had with John Denver being somehow "uncool". My girlfriend at the time liked him so if he was good enough for her he was good enough for me. And I'm so glad I initially approached his music in that way. Truth be told anyone who thinks he's not (or wasn't) "hip" or whatever is really missing a lot. John Denver is one of the most under-rated singer songwriters of all time. He had luck with a couple of country hits and so many people pegged him as a country singer. As such perhaps he doesn't rank as a great country star. But most people who have taken him seriously hear him as more of a folk singer with bits of country and pop (adult contemporary) mixed in. I've put together this playlist that I believe proves what a substantial artist he was. I recommend that you listen to it in shuffle mode.


He didn't live in darkness
It was the light he couldn't bear
Illuminating the futility
Exposing the reality
A world full of selfish people
A trait of the species
Darkness would have been his friend
To hide the truth he could not deny
Obfuscate lust, greed and pride
Survival of the fittest, hey that's alright
Instead he proclaimed humanity's state
Without the hope of even temporary escape
Grim as the Reaper knocking at your door

A car crash aftermath
You can't help but slow down
Turn to see what's there to see
But not for long
The guy in front of you slowed down too
(We've all the same hard wired brain)
Lest you find more than you thought
Not turn back in time
And rear end the other guy

He found ways to sing of loneliness
Despair given a melody
Between the look in his eyes and
The tremble in his voice
He could sell it to a poor man
He was no faker
As real as the sun
That will burn out the eyes of the one
Who gazes too long
At it's blazing light
From light years away
Giving decieving darkness
For the moments you bask in it's glow

The burden was too much for his skinny back
More than the weight of many worlds
He fell beneath his own weight
To him the logical response
But not to me
And not to you
Regardless the empathy and solidarity
How he seemed to have read our mind
Known our story, all our years to now
But he never knew the ending
How I wish it would have been his too
From the blinding darkness and the piercing light
My third eye has been blind
Open it, Lord
Show me the reason
And I will sing your song