Written 28July99

Y'know, I'll probably regret saying this, but my job's not so bad (cashier at Love's convenience store). I meet a lot of different people everyday and have gotten to know a few regulars (to the meager extent that I WANT to know them).

I mean there's the old guy who works at the mill and buys a quart of beer every day. He's one at of at least a couple who if I don't see them once a day I think something is wrong in the world.

And Officer Keogh, who is the best cop they've got, I think. He's from New Jersey and for awhile I was saving all the New Hersey quarters I got for hem and he'd buy them from me. Being from Jersey it's only natural that he's a Springsteen fan. He was in the  military before he became a  policeman. He buys between 7 and 10 packages of Rain-Blo bubble gum every few days. You know that's the gum that's real good for blowing bubble but the flavor doesn't last for very long.

And Bradley, a Catholic guy probably a few years younger than me,. He usually comes in the store at least twice a day and he always buys 2 or 3 quarts of Busch beer. He drinks it on ice because, he says, his heroes, the Kennedys, drank their beer "on the rocks". He keeps saying he'll come hear my band play bur he never does and probably never will. I've a strong suspicion he's a casual stoner, but not sure. If he ever shows up to a gig I'll find out.

And of course there are those I cringe to see coming through the doors. Like the bizarre mentally ill (schizophrenic, I believe) fellow who buys a shitload of sweet cakes, chips and junk food, then goes outside and EATS THE WHOLE DAMN LOT. And I'm talking a couple of bags full! One time he paid wish $16 in quarters. God Damn that was a pain in the ass. He hasn't been in the store in awhile and part of me wants to believe he's wound up in Ward 53.

There's this motley crew of 4 Indian teenagers that I can't stand. They never buy anything and I'm sure they're stealing candy (no hard task that). They know I'm suspicious of them, that I watch them closely. One day the ringleader got pissed when he saw I was working. I'd just bet they have a real robber's holiday when Latisha or Tammy's working.

But enough! I don't even want to think about those morons. I wanted to write about something that happened today.

This lady had just put fuel in her car and she came, bellied up to the counter and said, "I'd like a sausage biscuit and I've got gas".

Man, I wanted to say "That sausage biscuit won't be good for that, will it?"

Hardy har har.