Scene 4: Dylan has left the scene. He's been gone for a long, long time. He walked out and said it was for good. Don't know about that. It wouldn't be the first time he bandied threats about like that.
It's not so much a surprise that Bob Dylan has split. He never hangs around for very long at these affairs.
What IS surprising is that Slash has taken his place. Slash and mama, cute as can be with the Satanic tattoos, the nose ring and the gaudy Social Distortion t-shirt.
Slash has really let her down. Eased her to the ground, if you want to look at it that way. He has brought shame to her and to the family name with his hedonism. She smiles a goofy, toothy grin that says "This is my boy. This is the one."
Sure he is. Ms. Slash, you have raised up a real spitfire. This son of yours is a convicted felon. His hateful, and sometimes cruel behaviour has caused many a man to question your sexual chastity. He wears his baseball cap backwards on his head. A real significant fashion statement from a man whose pubescence lasted years longer than it does in a typical male. Your boy is a hooligan, Ms. Slash. We think you're aware of this and that you've BEEN aware of it for a long, long time. So long, Ms. Slash, that I fear I have come to late to be of any valuable service to your wasted son. My time is to precious to waste it delving into that rascal's subconscious mind. But make no mistake, dear woman. Your offspring is a thug.
Scene 5: Okay, Murray, you are a bad motherfucker. You've proved it to me. Once again, I might add, once again. Where the hell do you get off being so bad ass? How long have you gone without washing your hair? This dishevelled look you are cultivating for yourself is quite inappropriate. You can't get into any self respecting church service looking like THAT.
Where did you buy that watch? Big fuckin' watch. How much it cost you? I bet it's not one of those cheap Timex jobbies like the sell at Wal-Mart. Then again I'll also bet that it's not one of those heirloom timepieces you see touted by the editors of Esquire magazine and that cost roughly the same as a small, used automobile. That watch is working double duty.
Good Lord, you smell of tobacco. Surely you are aware of this? Why don't you take a quick shower and get rid of that stench before we go to the wedding? You're not going to any wedding looking like that.
Who did those tatoos on yer arms? Charles Schultz?
Scene 6: Put that goddamn cigarette down, you filthy hobo. You're not fooling anyone and I don't care if you are a bad ass motherfucker, I won't stand for it beneath my roof. I don't know what made you think it was okay to light up in my quarters but if I failed to make it clear before, please allow me to elabotate: IT IS NOT.
And where'd you get that ridiculous hat? Is that one from your shopping spree at the Goodwill 3 years ago? Or maybe it's one that was in the "All Headgear Bundle" you snagged at the Salvation Army on one of your weekly visits there. Here's what I say: it doesn't matter WHERE you got it. It makes you look like a stone fool when you wear it. Makes you look like that dude who played guitar with Guns 'n' Roses.
But you're even dirtier. The sand sticks to his skin when he sweats...it turns to mud on you.
He wants you to know about Amsterdam.
Scene 7: The balloon has landed. The bottle of booze is clutched tightly in the drummer's hand. Wait, what's that? ANOTHER bottle of hooch? The pilot's drinking Old Number 7 and it looks like he can sure put away enough of it.
That blimp really sailed for a while there. It was a sight to behold, I assure you. You could get a sore neck bending it towards the sky to get a better look at that incredible floating craft. This was before the fires, you understand. This didn't happen until after the water shortage of 2298 when even the majestic oceans were drained to pitiful pools.
But it's set down now, and that's a natural fact. The way of the world. The wisdom of the sages confirm that the zeppelin has descended it's last time.
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