Time to kill...

What the hell. Might as well clutter this blog up with tons of these MySpace Q&As. God knows I've got nothing better to offer right now...

1. What is your occupation
Slacker

2. What color are your socks right now?
Oh, I have several pairs of socks. Some are white with grey heels, some are just grey, some are black...then there is that one pair of pink socks that I lost the last time I was at the Habana Inn.

3. What are you listening to right now
The constant ringing in my ears.

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Spaghetti (Wal-Mart brand with some old Prego sauce I found in the refrigerator that didn't look like it had any mold on it yet). Buttered bread (wheat with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter). Pepsi. (black sugar water)

5. Can you drive a stick shift?
"Stick Shift"...that's kind of funny.

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
If I were a crayon I wouldn't care what color I was. Crayons are inanimate objects, dummy!

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Mr. Wells Fargo.

8. How old are you today?
I am exactly the same age as I was yesterday. I fear I will remain this old until my birthday in April, but I'm trying to find a way to change all that.

9. Favorite drink?
Toilet water's under-rated.

10. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Political debates (especially the ones that end in bloodshed).

11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Once a month I mix a few grey spots in, just so I'll look my age.

12. Pets?
I've got a dog and he has fleas, so yeah, I've got a lot of them. Not to mention the cooties.
...oh, and the lice.
...oh, and the ringworms.


13. Favorite food?
The edible kind.


14. What was the last movie you watched?
Old Yeller

15. Favorite days of the year?
None. I hate 'em all.

16. What do you do to vent anger?
KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL

17. What was your favorite toy as a child?
A dead cat.
What?
Hey, I didn't kill it.
It was like that when I found it.

18. What is your favorite fall or spring?
My favorite fall is the old standard pratfall, you know, like the one Chevy Chase used to get so many laughs with. As for my favorite spring... my box spring mattress.

19. Hugs or kisses?
I don't like either of them. Just spit in my eye and we'll call it even, okay?

20. Cherries or Blueberry?
No.

21. Do you want your friends to resend this?
I don't give a shit what they do with it. I doubt any of them will even READ it, let alone resend it.

22. Who is most likely to respond?
The first responder.

23. Who is least likely to respond?
Everyone who has a MySpace account.

24. When was the last time you cried?
I'm crying right now. Britney Spears just came on the radio (and now I gotta clean it up).

26. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
Rosy Palm

27. What did you do last night?
Stalked a cheerleader, went on a joyride, baked a cake, requested sex from a cheerleader (rejected), watched "E.R.", stalked the same cheerleader again, downloaded some really sick porn off of the Internet (which I e-mailed to my mother), went on another joyride, stalked some more, answered a lot of questions for the police, took one last, long, loving look at my dream girl then spent the rest of it in a holding cell until my wife made bail.

28. Favorite smells?
I have way too many favorite smells to mention. I will say, however, that I don't mind my own smells but I hate others smells.

29. What inspires you?
Brute force, threats and the physical stamina of the one doing the threatening and the wielding of the brute force.
...oh, and God.

30. What are you afraid of?
Turning 44.

31. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
Hell, I'll take all three! but I swear if you give me onions again after I've told you to hold them I will personally scrape them all off...you got that, Mr. Short Order Cook? Consider yourself warned.

32. Favorite dog breed?
Ball Park. Sometimes I'll get Hebrew Nationals if I'm burned out on the Ball Parks. But they gotta be BUN LENGTH and they damn sure better be BEEF. Don't you go trying to feed me none of these "2 for $1" specials. I don't go for that nasty mechanically separated chicken.

33. How many years at your current job?
45

34. Favorite days of the week?
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday , Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday!
...no, wait. Scratch Thursday. I hate Thursday.
...but then again, I guess Thursday's not all that bad. How about we scratch Monday instead? To hell with Monday!

35. How many states have you lived in?
Let's see, there's the catatonic state, the psychotic state, the comatose state...that makes 3.

36. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery?
I once got pulled over and busted for speeding while driving some heavy machinery. Those suckers are dangerous toolin' down the interstate at 85 MPH. I tried to drive a motorcycle one time, but I fell off.

37. Who's your favorite NFL team
Los Angeles Rams.

38. Do you have a house phone that is NOT cordless?
My house phones are all cordless. My cell phone, however, does have a cord.

39. Do you like finding out more about people in your life?
A lot of the people in my life lead boring, predictable lives. Finding out more about them would be just about as exciting as watching rain turn into snow. There are, however, a few who are just too interesting for their own good. I know more about these particular people than they know about themselves, so no, I don't care to find out more about them.