Death to "Smilin' Bob"

For the record...I think "Smilin' Bob" deserves all the privileges of HELL when he goes to rot there.

I took some of his pills. I didn't get one bit high. What a rip-off AND THEY WERE FREE!

Didn't get wrecked but I felt like someone shot my cock off. An empty feeling down there which easily convinces you that your sexual piano has temporarily slid right off it's mount.

When the situation eased up I could feel my penile projection return to it's rightful place near my pubis. As promised by Silent Bob I had a hard one on that was solid as diamond.

I took advantage of it. Two times. Then I hooked up with my woman and made it happen 4 times (she was breathless towards the end, but I managed to resuscitate her using a method I had previously seen demonstrated in the chat room of an upper-grade free porn site). When it became apparent that she could take no more (basically that happened directly after the foiled asphyxiation attempt), I left the house and headed for a swingers' club I had heard tell of by the coffee crew.

I must have set some kind of endurance record at Sherlocks Pre-and Post- Coital Lounge.

STILL I FELT NOTHING! Oh, I could tell my phallic unit was down there...this wasn't like the previous experience. But there were NO FEELINGS in it! Do you realize how sanity-breaking such a situation might be? An erection that lasts for hours but what good does it do me? I mean, forget all the gals, I might as be a walking, talking dildo to them.

When the 4 hour had come I got scared and called my doctor. That's what all the advertisements tell you to do..."If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours consult your doctor immediately."

And I used to think it was SO funny. I'd say, "If I experience an erection lasting 4 hours, my health care professional is gonna be' the last homey Im gonna call. I got a little black book right over there and it's got a whole lotta numbers in it. Bring it o'er here."

The moral of the story is, "FUCK YOU BOB. WIPE THAT SMILE OFF OF YOUR PERVERTED FACE."

But WAIT, you say, "I thought Enzyte was just supposed to make your cock bigger, not give you erections?

That's the impression the ads give, isn't it? But if you spend any time on their website you'll start to understand what they're on about, which is basically the same thing as Sta-Hard cream, or I mean to say that the effect is similar (not that one should eat Sta-Hard cream, but that may have been the impression many have gotten).

Don't ask me what I'm doing on the enzyte site. Let's just say it was the holiday and I hoped to give the wife a little surprise. Don't you dare anyone of you go gettin' the impression that I was loitering at that annoying Smilin' Bob's website because of any inadequacies, perceived or real, that I might exhibit. NO. Not at all. Just gonna grow an artificial inch for Anniversary night, take it right up into the next 15 years.

But no. My anniversary fuck went flying out the door when her mouth became numb shortly after the first time she served me orally. It took 5 minutes to wash that metallic taste and smell from her mouth.

You owe me, Smilin' Bob. You owe me a lot. More than you could ever repay in the pathetic life time you've been given. So why do I keep you around? Why do you keep smilin'? Is there something really funny you know but don't want to tell us? Are you innerly tickled at the prospect that you've had sexual intercourse with with my wife so many times that both have lost count. She does it all for free samples of the enzyme, which she swears by. Bob, you will be paid every cent you're owed.

But I won't be the one who pays.

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