Dear Slark,

So what's the deal? Did you get your trial or not? Did you have a good lawyer? What was the verdict? I'm very interested to know. Were you found guilty? If so, were you sentenced to very many years in prison? Are you frightened at the prospect of going to prison? You should be. Or were you proven innocent? Did your family break down and cry in relief at your narrow escape from justice? Was the judge a fair man? Did he have any sex toys under the bench? Did he play with them during the trial? Did this behavior influence his decision? Do you envy him? Do you want to be a lawyer? Do you want to date a lawyer? Do you want to have lunch with a lawyer? Do you want to tell lawyer jokes to a lawyer? Do you show your appreciation to your lawyer by offering him a pop-tart and a glass of orange juice?

Yours truly
Joker

---