in which I meet and eventually marry my first wife

My first wife, Barbra
1979

     Okay, so it was only a matter of time before I wrote about my ex-wife, Barbra. Truth be told I really don't have all that many memories of her. Certainly very few of much significance. After re-uniting with my daughter after over 20 years (and she having spent only her first 6 months with me) I once tried to recount as many memories to her as I could of my life with her mother. I was surprised to find just how few I came up with. Most of them are fragments and that's how I'll tell  them here.
   
     I first began a relationship with Barbra in October 1980. Truth be told I was interested in her older sister and hadn't even noticed her until the day we got together. I had been enlisted to work in the Methodist Church's fundraising haunted house. I don't think I was a member of the church at that time but it sounded like fun so I did it. I played the role of a vampire killer. It was big fun. My co-star would lie on his back, playing dead, until the people got into the room and at some point he rose from the table. Which would be kind of lame and nobody would have been the slightest bit frightened, but I was behind the door that opened into the next room. Just as they thought they were done and ready to move on, I would very loudly jump out from behind the door and engage in a fierce struggle with the vampire as they were ushered into the next room.   

      Standing behind the door gave me a lot of time to spend in the next room, where Barbara played the role of the headless man. She was locked in a "cage", as it were, a suit coat fastened too high on her body to give the appearance of one beheaded. We flirted like crazy back there, which was something new to me. I was awkward as a teenager and didn't really have any girlfriends until then (unless you counted a one-sided obsession with a girl who had no intention of becoming anything more to me than good friends). I liked her immediately and thought she was a pretty girl. Tall, like me.
   
      Somehow or another I wound up giving her a little kiss...at least I think it was me who gave that first little peck. For sure there wasn't anything to it. I think I said something goofy along the lines of "that was nice, let's do it again" and then she really let me have it. Definitely the most passionate kiss I'd ever experience. Actually I had made out with the "good friends" girl one time but her kisses weren't nearly as exciting. To her, for sure. They were just fine for me until Barbra kissed me that first time and I knew they weren't worth a damn.
   
     Barbra and I began "going together" that night, even though it was an unspoken fact. It was just too obvious. Looking back I can see just how much it was "puppy love", complete with all the hand-holding, french kissing, blah blah blah. It turned into sex pretty soon afterwards. We were both very sexual...I mean, all teenagers are, right? We'd meet at the swimming pool two or three times a week and sneak off to my house where we'd make love and then return to the pool, with no parent being any the wiser. During school hours we would sacrifice lunch hour to go to the house (which was not too far from the school) and do it again. My dad's second wife would be in the front room when we'd show up. We'd go straight down the hall to my room without saying a word to her. Then when we were done we'd walk straight on out, once again not saying a word. I can only imagine now how this made her feel, knowing that she couldn't do anything about it. I can't imagine that she didn't say anything to my dad about it. But he never mentioned it to me if she did. And I'm sure knowing that he didn't seem to care (whether he actually did or not) probably made her all the more livid.

Prom night, 1980

      When we didn't go home for lunch we'd stand outside the school by the band room pretty much making out. Believe it or not, there were a couple of other couples who did this. No one seemed to notice or mind. Teachers nor students.    
     She chewed Doublemint gum. I won't forget that. I even wrote a poem about it a couple of years ago.
   
      We were both in the high school band (she played flute, me baritone saxophone).  On the way home from "away" football games we'd do all kinds of stuff in the darkness of the bus. Stuff you wouldn't think we'd get away with. The band took their yearly trip to Six Flags over Texas and of course we were all over each other up there and back. She used to have this sheer white shirt with little holes in it (they're called something but I don't know what)....It was practically see-through. I dared her to go without a bra during the Six Flags trip. She took the dare. I can't remember if that surprised me at the time. Probably did. There's no way people didn't notice her. Especially after the log ride, soaking wet. She looked good to me.    

     We got married in February, 1984. Moved into a 4 section duplex across the street from the record store I was working at. The accommodations left much to be desired. Add to that, all I had was a little twin size bed. But do you know what? We didn't mind at all. I never thought twice about it. Unfortunately the people who lived in the section adjacent to ours were a rough lot. The guy used to beat his wife and you could hear it all, including their kids crying in the corner. It was terrible. I know we should have called the law on them...it's not as if we would have been the only ones, cops had been there before without our intervention...We were afraid. This guy was evil. He was a big reason why we eventually left. I'm ashamed now that I didn't do the right thing. But I didn't.

Barbra, circa 1982