My mom and dad in the mid-50s. I don't know anything about the particulars of this photo. It looks like it was taken at one of those booths you used to see in grocery stores and places like that. But good God, just look how happy they are. If those aren't two people who are madly in love then I have never seen any. I doubt they were married at this point, but dad already sports an expression that says, "she's mine". Just a hint of possessiveness, like you just know that if someone were to try and mess around with her he would get the beat-down of his life. And she looks as if she wants nothing more than to let him do it. As for me, I don't remember them being nearly as close as they look like they were then. It's nice, though, to know that they were happy together when I was born.
Now, fast forward to 1976 or 1977 (not exactly sure, but it was one or the other),,,
Oh, my God...what happened? Mom looks like she resents having to pose with him, to even be that close to him. She had bleached her hair not too long before this picture, and I've long suspected that she did it to sort of try and "become a new person" to whatever small extent. I never liked it. I can't quite suss out what dad is thinking/feeling by the look on his face. I know he was kind of stubborn...and he still has this possessive quality in his expression, but instead of being possessive of wanting to keep and protect her, this is more the look of a man who is going to make sure she won't leave. He probably thought he had that job done all the way up until she DID leave, and I guarantee he wasn't looking anything like this when it happened. At any rate, it is a very uncomfortable moment. There's no way of knowing who was the person that requested this photo be taken. Most likely I'm the one who snapped the picture, but I can't imagine me insisting on such a portrait. I'd already settled in my mind the eventuality that they would be divorced sooner rather than later. Most likely dad wanted the photograph taken, which would explain mom's demeanor.
This is what it comes down to. No, not for everyone...hopefully none but the unlucky few...but between these two portraits is the degeneration of a love that seemed so promising but instead deteriorated past the point of no return. What can I say? I guess I should give them credit for toughing it out for as long as they did. They always provided for us (my brother and I). It wasn't pleasant during those last couple of years, what with the constant shouting matches and dad trying to pull us kids into the arguments. No, I don't guess I can say too much good about the situation as it became, other than the aforementioned constant provision.
Yes, it is very, very hard for me to recall those hard times. It always has been. How things would have been so much different had they stayed together. I might still have a relationship with my mother, something I haven't had or wanted in several years. I believe that my father would still be alive today, had they remained a couple...of course I have my reasons for thinking that, but it's not something I want to go into here and now. All that is horrible to remember...but I think this is even worse.These photographs document it. The decay of a relationship that began with such love and promise. That ended with so much bitterness.
I hope to learn a lesson from this...
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