Dear Diary,
I woke up this morning and after performing my regular routine I walked into the living room. There sat my wife and daughter, reclining on the sofa, watching some Sunday morning Church of Christ program. You know, the kind of shit they air so that the bed-ridden can hear the gospel preached since they can't attend services. Hear it preached again. Again. Again. Like it doesn't stick.
I have never seen my family watch this nonsense. Oh, they go to the Church of Christ, screwed up organization that it is. But to actually sit and watch a sermon before leaving to attend another one? I'm sorry, but that smacks of overkill to me. If it were anyone else I would think they had crossed the line into fanaticism.
It will take more than this to worry me about my wife. Even though she has been reading the bible more regularly. I figured it was all about the church's "Daily Bible Reading" challenge. You know, "how many Daily Bible Readers did we have last week?" She gets a chance to raise her hand along with the other 7 who did it too. Seven out of 40 in a small congregation. What an accomplishment. What a learning experience.
What's the point, then, of watching this program? She loathes and despises the religious networks (one of the few things we share in common). I assumed that it was not only because she vehemently disagreed with much of what is propagated in these comedies, but because she felt that it was a waste of time for people to have to be reminded of what they believe in. Like indoctrination that requires repeated exposure in order to be effective.
So it was with some degree of incredulity, masked by the tone of humor, that I asked, "You guys not going to church today?"
The answer, "Yes. Why do you ask?"
"Well, I see you're watching a sermon already. I thought maybe you were going to stay home."
At his point my daughter gets this offended look on her face. Sort of a mean scowl that suggests I've been blasphemous. Like I've shit on her beliefs. Like I'd actually said something hateful, not just about the crap on the TV but about the crap doctrine she's was force fed as a young child. Yea, the brainwashing has been coming along just fine, thank you. I can only hope that the coming years will open her mind. I'm not asking that she abandon her God or lose her faith. But one would hope that she would develop a measure of tolerance and a questioning mind. So what if I think such attributes will lead her away from the religion she clings to now. She's a good girl. I can only hope that she will eventually understand that the credit for that quality doesn't go to a God that sits on a throne of judgment.
"I watch this kind of stuff alot," my wife says.
I think, "Bullshit". Unless she hides it like I hide the porn I watch sometimes in my "secret place". "Surely not when 'Bonanza' is on?" She was flipping through the on-screen schedule guide...she didn't look like she was finding anything she'd rather watch, so I pointedly got up, walked into the office and turned on a New Fast Automatic Daffodils CD at a nice, loud volume. I don't know if they watched the rest of that ridiculous Church of Christ sponsored broadcast, but if they did it was accompanied by cynical music, and the lyrics, "It was the Good Book, it was clear as mud."
It's just another wedge in a disintegrating relationship.
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