IMPEDIMENTS TO THE STRESS-FREE DRIVING EXPERIENCE I ENCOUNTERED TODAY ON A VOYAGE TO OKC

~~~Got behind an "Oversize Load" truck. Lost some time slowing down for his 55mph drivin' ass.

~~~4-Way Stop on a busy OKC thoroughfare. Some idiot decides it's his time to turn left, even though I had been stopped for several seconds before he even showed up. He should count himself lucky not to have the impression of my car embedded into his driver's side door.

~~~There was this moron slow-poking in the fast lane when he turns on his blinker for a left turn. I'm behind, so I decide to change lanes, to avoid having to brake for him and maybe get in front before he turns. But he didn't. Oh, no, this bozo stays right with me until the road merges and I have to pull back in behind him. You'd almost think he did it on purpose.

~~~I had no idea of the precise location of our destination. Only a slight familiarity with the immediate vicinity. As one might expect, I became hopelessly lost, passing by entry lanes and generally not having a clue.

IMPEDIMENTS TO A STRESS FREE DAY (July 8, 2008 edition)

~~~When we entered Souper!Salad for lunch, we were greeted by a foul stench that was either some really nasty food cookin' in the back or someone in the line ahead who maybe had not bathed in a long time (like a month). I almost backed out, telling the wife we should go because if it WAS the food...well, you know. She decided to risk it. When the line dispersed, the offensive reek wafted elsewhere. So it must have been a person with an impressive accumulation of crusty body odor. The wife did complain about the Ranch dressing, saying that it was not very good. I set out to investigate the allegations. Her assessment was correct. The Ranch sucked.

~~~I stopped at a 7-11 with the express purpose of purchasing a large can of Monster (preferably the 32 oz. version, but I would have settled for 24). What kind of store, I ask you, sells ONLY the 16 oz. size? This one.

~~~If there's one thing my wife likes about these long trips, it's telling me how to drive.

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