Ole Anthony

The only "evangelist" who makes any sense to me these days is Ole Anthony. I first heard his morning bible studies (which are posted on the Trinity Foundation website) about 3 years ago, and the words he said just bowled me over. They challenged everything I believed to be Christianity. It was so radical that I avoided it for 2 & 1/2 of those years.

But I've found myself drifting back to it, and it makes so much sense to me now. I have to wonder what changed within me that would cause me to embrace this teaching, which, as I see it, is much more "Christian" than any I have ever heard. In fact, it makes me question the legitimacy of all the theology I've ever studied.

My first exposure to Anthony was through a copy of "The Wittenburg Door", a religious satire magazine that he "inherited". If you're not familiar with it, all I can say is that it is brutal to the point where you wouldn't know it was published by Christians if you didn't already know. And the one target that "The Door" lambasted with the most ferocity was televangelists with their false teachings and manipulative techniques.

If you've read much of this blog, especially in the last few months, you know that I have zero tolerance for these swindlers. I don't know that I can explain exactly WHY they get on my bad side like they do. I'd like to think it's because they are shitting all over something that is precious to me. They've reduced the most important event in the history of mankind into the convoluted plot line in a Must See TV prime time drama. They've used it as an excuse to hold the biggest telethon ever broadcast. It's cool for Jerry Lewis to have a telethon once a year...the proceeds all go to a worthy cause. But the Monster Televangelistic Telethon, a monster that consumes air time for sustenance, raises money to pay for...uh...MORE AIRTIME.

Okay, that's a little harsh. The folks who donate to these ministries aren't paying for airtime ONLY. Some of the money pays for the "minister"'s salary (which, I suspect, amounts to a figure that makes the average contributors yearly income look like a Christmas bonus from a miserly boss). And let's not forget just how essential Lear Jets and Bentleys are to the "preacher on the go". God forbid their standards of living be comparable to that of the modest middle class people who send their monthly "seeds" to these "sowers". It is a vital necessity that speakers of this importance own mansions. How do these bastards sleep at night, knowing that their maidservants are very likely paid with funds that were hustled from poor people who have been told that God wants to make them rich...at a price.

Harsh...sure it is. And no doubt much of the money that comes to many of these ministries is used in a proper manner, feeding starving folks in third world countries, helping the homeless, that kind of stuff. Which is GREAT. But this kind of work makes up such a small piece of the pie. It's not an excuse for all the other shit that is going on with these quacks.

At any rate, I seem to have drifted from my original topic, Ole Anthony. I was just saying that Anthony's fight against televangelism is what attracted me to his teaching. But soon it had nothing to do with that. The guy made sense, it was that simple.

He also has a sense of humor that is so spot-on it always cracks me up. For example:

Ole appeared on the Christian talk show The 700 Club—and was permanently banned when he told host Ben Kincheloe that he prayed to God to either send him a wife or stop making him so horny.

That's just so funny, not just because of the joke, but because he had the audacity to say it on "the 700 Club". The fact that he was banned afterward only goes to show what humorless fuddy-duddys they are in Pat Robertson's camp. Who would want to be a Christian if it means that you can't laugh at all of MAN'S IDEAS about what it means to be one?

Another aspect of Anthony that I find refreshing:

On at least two occasions Ole's life was threatened by one of his students, and one particular Arkansas-bred proselyte had to be held down bodily on the floor, lest he open a can of whup-ass.

Later—at Kip's Big Boy, at Lucas B&B, at the NFL—I would tentatively ask what might have been happening that night.

"Romans. We're still studying the book of Romans," he would say.

"What particular aspect of Romans is generating this level of interest?"

"Well, we were talking about your place in the body of Christ. And I told one guy his place was to be a pimple on the ass of the body of Christ. I just said it. It just came out."

"And he didn't agree?"

"A lot of these people are clinging to their miserable little self-images. They don't understand that it's about God. It's about them, but only the part of them that contains God. They still think they're special."

If this offends you...if you really think that there's anything "special" about us because we're Christians...then we're on totally different pages. And that's okay. It's none of my business what you believe. I don't mean to make it your business what I believe. I'm just ranting.

But I did want to get the word out about Ole Anthony...not exactly about Ole, but about the morning bible studies that you can download from the Trinity Foundation's website. Even if you aren't a Christian (ESPECIALLY if you aren't) you will find much to contemplate in these 25-30 minute sessions.

MORNING BIBLE STUDIES at TRINITY FOUNDATION


(The material in italics is from "Ole Anthony and 'The God Thing'" by John Bloom...I wholeheartedly recommend this article...)